Neil Strauss and the ‘pickup artist’ community were skyrocketed into notoriety with the publishing of his book, The Game. Many young men, hoping to garner some tips on how to understand (and hold their ground… for it feels like a battleground) against women. The book explores Strauss’ entrance into, dominance of, and exit out of the ‘pickup artist’ community.
His exit was for the book, only. He continues to make money teaching young hopefuls the skills they crave to pickup women. But his evolution, though fascinating, is maybe not worth modelling your life on.
I am not much good at picking up girls. I’m not quite an ‘average frustrated chump’, in the language of the PUA community, but I can do well enough. But what struck me with Strauss’ fate, at least so far, is that no matter how many women he fucks, he still isn’t happy. Strauss, are you happy? How many women, how many workshops, and how many one night stands? You self-hypnotise yourself that you are the prize, but then you pursue women who are entranced by magic tricks and palmistry. For fucks sake, wake up to life, as it oozes in and out. You or I may die any day.
This leads me to divulge a great revelation, which dawned on me after a corrosive, soul and mind obliterating breakup. There is a spiritual life, a yearning beyond pussy. Look to other men, and to nature, for two unending sources of inspiration and freedom. Look beyond the game. Embrace your father. Rather than the grotto of 2am desire, which disintegrates in your hands at 10am, look to the profound and incomprehensible cathedrals of nature.
The architecture of the sky over Sydney harbour can reach into your soul, like Mozart can, if you let him. The confluence of sky, swell, cloud, sun, waves, the combination of grand architecture and fine detail, the melodrama of it all, energetically changing, endlessly. The muting beauty of it, combined with the capricious and practical whoosh of a wind capsizing you, lest you dumbly theorise while nature does. It can blow your fucking mind.
The self-centredness of the PUAs, their focsu on women, means they forget that there are greater things than putting their dicks into women. You could argue that I say this, partly because I am crap at picking up women. And I am. But I also know there is something beyond us. beyond pussy, that is incredible. That is the point that the PUAs miss. They build a better mouse trap, but they never think that there might be better things than trapping mice.
Your life depends on finding those things that burn inside you, that fill your life. That burn like magnesium inside your soul. That refresh you like diving into a lake. As someone once said, “May you live every day of your life”.