In my wanderings over the web, I encountered something ambiguously called the ‘Pink Bible’. Not a pornographic version of that entertaining mixture of fairy tales and bizarre dietary rules, the pink bible is yet another north American self-help book that teaches ‘huntresses’ how to ‘get the perfect guy’. (Perfect = rich, hopelessly oblivious to human nature, easily manipulated, immature and capable of siring children)
Written by a woman called Maren Jepson (one of those quaintly strange names that are exclusively found in the US. Her male equivalent might be called Caspar Gunk), the book promises its readers that they will learn to “streamline the frustrating process of hunting the perfect man”. And what a strange mixture of pseudo-self-help/US business-speak it is too.
As amusing as the book is, it perpetuates the myths that some women want to believe about men: that they are forgetful, clumsy, dopey, irrational, immature. Jepson lists the so-called qualities of men and women side by side: “Men count. Women calculate. Men brood. Women discuss”. Even “Men dance poorly. Women dance well.” Hard hitting stuff (clearly it doesn’t take two to tango).
It’s disappointing that Jepson reinforces the dogma that men are incapable of the subtle, the creative, the complex, the intellectual. In her world, men are either suckers or suck-holes. “Weirdos” are seen as an impediment to ‘hunting’ the perfect man, they are “losers” and “have no feelings”. She then blows on her alpine horn and announces open season on them, because ‘they don’t get it’.
In one unwitting swoop, Jepson has unveiled the ugly truth: she’s exposed the calculating, emotionally void, manipulative and destructive side of women.
It probably comforts Jepson and others to convince themselves that men are shallow, weak, uncreative, socially hopeless and oblivious. Perhaps many men are like this.
Having proven how hopeless men are, she avoids the risky temptation of philanthropy, and bellows her estrogen-addled call to attack. Jepson degrades herself to write about men like this, and degrades her readers to incite them pursue men like this. You can’t ‘win’ a man on your own merits, so you ‘hunt’ him.
Jepson de-humanises men. She encourages women to play the same game that women have always accused men of: emotional detachment, cynicism, and a manipulative attitude towards human relationships. The focus is on the outcome, not the people.
And many women enthusiastically flock to this: the forum is bulging with threads and messages asking for advice, recounting dates and dilemmas.
Her book unwittingly articulates the insecurity older women feel when they realise that showing some ass just won’t work anymore. All those years they could have meaningfully spent developing their own potential (as a writer, scientist, artist) would have made them an interesting, balanced and grounded person. But instead they drifted, and therefore became an ageing and shallow spinster.
Jepson has actually taught the men that have encountered her book a valuable lesson. That any woman who cannot see a man as an equal is weak, and doesn’t deserve love and attention from men, even though she often craves this validation. Her book is another stepping stone in men freeing themselves of their (usually youthful) naïveté about women.
The woman who will read the Pink Bible actually needs to spend some time on herself, rather than try and ‘hunt’ down men. She needs to build core. Maybe she should learn calculus (since women are so ‘great’ at calculating), learn Spanish, teach herself sketching with charcoal, play tennis, climb a mountain, write poetry, learn the drums…
Marrying a man who she has manipulated, and who has a acceptably large amount of money, will not satisfy her in the long run. It is a cop-out, which shows the woman cannot handle a man who is self-aware and able to verbally joust, who knows his boundaries and has self respect.
It is unclear if Jepson has any children. If so, I dearly hope that she is hypocritical enough and wise enough to not act out this crap around her son. Like many poisonous mothers before her, she would turn a beautiful exuberant boy into a messed up, approval seeking neurotic man.
The interesting and unintended side-effect of the Pink Bible is that Jepson has exposed the calculating, emotionally void, manipulative and destructive side of women. It is heartening to visit the forum of her website; many men defend themselves and poke holes in her book. For that, they are accused of having “no sense of humour”. She also lets out that old chestnut of attacking spelling mistakes.
But her rebuffs are weak, and more men appreciate her book for the degrading rubbish it is. Their articulate (and often censored or blocked) appraisals of the book are part of a sea change in men. The Pink Bible is jetsam on the banks of a river that can’t be stopped.